Tuesday, May 14, 2013

The Dark Knight Rises (2012) - Review

I'll be the first to admit that I'm very biased against Christopher Nolan.  I loathe the first two movies in this series.  Batman Begins is one of the most boring comic book movies I've ever seen (maybe giving even Ang Lee's Hulk a run for its money) and The Dark Knight is an over-written, unintentionally hilarious groan-fest.  They're bad.  Inception was okay, I guess, but other than that, I haven't been entertained too much by Nolan.  Not until this movie.

When he completely proves me right and makes one of the worst blockbusters I've seen in a long time.  It's difficult to point out where this movie went wrong; quite simply, it failed in just about every single way.  The plot makes no sense when looked at with even the slightest scrutiny, the actors are either wildly over-the-top or bored out of their skulls, and the whole movie looks completely drab and desolate.  I get it.  That's the point.  But it's not good.

The entire ambivalent nature of this series can be summed up with one word: Bane.  Are you trying to make him a threat?  Really?  With that voice, huh?  I know that Batman's voice as well as Bane's have become the go-to target for tearing this movie down.  And that's because they're truly awful.  It might not be an original criticism, but it's certainly a valid one; the combination of the two voices is enough to sink any movie regardless of how good the script and plot and director and actors are.  Which they aren't.

The movie demands to be taken completely seriously (as pretty much all Nolan films do) but there is no reason to do so.  This trilogy is so empty, so devoid of any sort of relatable emotion that it reaches a point where it's almost not even intentionally funny anymore.  I laughed at Scarecrow and his nonsensical plan.  I laughed at the corny melodramatics of TDK, and I laughed heartily at Bane.  But there comes a point where you stop laughing and start getting angry at yourself for watching such dreck.  And that comes at about the one hour mark, leaving a solid hour and a half to go.  Thank whatever supernatural diety you believe in that they stopped at three, because I don't think I could have gotten through another one of these miserable pieces of trash.

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