Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Fanboys (2009) - Review

I've always been a Star Wars fan. Ever since my cousins showed me the original trilogy when I was little, I was hooked. Sure, everybody knows the prequels are complete crap, but that's not what this movie is about. This movie is about seeing original trilogy references, props, and occasionally actors. It's not something that non-Star Wars fans are going to enjoy. It's something strictly for the nerds. And it's pretty awful, really.

You know those morons that think they're witty by endlessly quoting Monty Python and the Holy Grail? Yeah, that's this, but in movie form. Look at that picture of the poster and read the two taglines for the movie; that's all you need to know right there. It's like someone took the script from Without a Paddle and added nothing but Star Wars quotes in it...and removed the likable Matthew Lillard and Seth Green, instead replacing them with the mindnumbingly annoying Dan Fogler and Jay Baruchel. That's akin to running out of two-ply cotton soft toilet paper and deciding to substitute with your razor instead. Sam Huntington is a pretty decent actor; maybe he's never been any anything good (unless Jungle 2 Jungle counts) but he's certainly above this. Kristen Bell is cute, but adds nothing (and would she really fall for the ultimate loser Jay Baruchel? Well she's dating Dax Shepard in real life, so...joke's on me, I guess), and Chris Marquette is just sort of there. Seth Rogan has multiple roles but quite frankly it's embarrassing. Come on, you're a good dramatic actor! You stop that! You stop that right now!

I mean I get that this was a movie for the most hardcore of fans, but I don't really see it pleasing anyone except stoners who still find the "oops we accidentally took psychoactive drugs and now we're seein' stuff that suuuuuper crazy" bit hilarious. That hasn't been funny since A Very Brady Sequel, and when you're being outdone by a sequel to a parody of a 70s sitcom, you know you're in trouble. Bottom line: skip the movie. Go watch the original trilogy with your friends. You'll likely make similar jokes, but take comfort in the fact that your delivery will always be better than Dan Fogler's. And oh Danny McBride: Comedy Vacuum is in this, so there's a definitive reason to JUST SAY NO (that goes for this movie and also psychoactive drugs).

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