Saturday, March 17, 2012

The Dark Crystal (1982) - Review

Typically I'm on board with cult movies. Evil Dead? Donnie Darko? Super? I'm all over that! I even like Labyrinth, for all its cheesiness and awesome David Bowie-ism. But...people like this movie? Really? ...why? Talk about unattractive; now I'm not shallow, I promise, I can enjoy an ugly movie! It's just if a movie is going to be ugly, it's going to have to have one FANTASTIC personality.

This movie fails on both counts. Not only is it incredibly painful to watch from an aesthetic standpoint, but it seems in the extensive amount of time it must have taken to create all of those puppets, no one reminded Jim Henson to actually write a script. What little dialogue that's there is absolutely laughable, and not in the good way. There's really nothing good about this movie at all. Except Fizzgig, and even that is playing mostly on my love of Gremlins! Skip this movie; if you have to watch a Henson movie, watch Labyrinth. At least Labyrinth has that cool upside-down staircase scene.

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