Sunday, May 19, 2013

Scary or Die (2012) - Review

Most anthology movies do not work at all.  Scary or Die is no exception.  I want you to take a minute and look at the film's poster to your left.  Make a list of things you see wrong with it.  Go ahead.  I'll wait; I've got all day.  Done?  Okay.  If your first reaction was "demon clown", then not bad, you get a few points for effort.  If your first reaction was "Man, 'what's so ##%&@# funny' is probably the worst tagline I've ever seen", then hey, you're getting warmer!  But if your first reaction was "Oh God, Corbin Bleu, noooooo!", then congrats, you take home the gold on this round of Find the Mistakes!

And here's the real kicker.  Ready?  The demon clown segment with Corbin Bleu as a clownpire is... the best segment.  No, seriously.  Like legitimately the best one.  And it's just short of unwatchable.  The first segment feels like a bad Tales from the Crypt, the second is an average episode of Tales from the Darkside, the third is too forgettable to really even mention, the fourth is the aforementioned clown one, and the fifth is like five minutes long.

Yeah, pretty much a failure all around, then, eh?  And before you get any ideas, this isn't one of those fun bad movies.  This is one of those boring ones.  The only real payoffs typically come at the very end of the short films due to unintentionally funny plot twists cropping up from time to time.  But other than that, it's a chore to get through.  Better luck next time, High School Musical fans / afro fans.

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