Saturday, April 27, 2013

Queen of the Damned (2002) - Review

"You know what is awesome right now?  Nu metal!"

This movie is proof that those words have actually been thought before.  I've never read anything by Anne Rice, but Interview with a Vampire is a solid movie.  Sure, it's a bit broody and it tends to glorify being a vampire, but it's well-acted and has some interesting ideas.  Queen of the Damned is the butt rock version of that.  It has no cool ideas, so it throws a lot of glossy MTV-style editing at you, and that never works.

Huge problem with the movie:  Stuart Townsend.  I don't know what else this guy is in; this movie doesn't warrant a trip to IMDb.  But man, oh man, is he bad here.  A lot of people like to bag on Tom Cruise because he's sort of nuts.  Say what you want about him, but he's a fantastic actor in everything he's in.  In the previous installment, Cruise brought an elegance to Lestat de Lioncourt; he was charming, dangerous, and most importantly, interesting.  Townsend's Lestat is none of these.  He's a bland, flat, pre-Twilight Twilight vampire fronting a vapid Marilyn Manson-esque band.  And this is our main character.

And that's all there really is to say about the movie.  It's made completely for the MTV crowd that enjoy flashy edits, style over substance, and horrendous acting.  And not the good kind.  The really offensively boring kind.  Take a page from Reb Brown, guys; ham it up!  Or Lugosi, to be more appropriate.  You're a vampire.  Act like a vampire, not a teenage kid pretending that he's a vampire.

No comments: