Party Monster (2003) - Review

Whatever happened to Macaulay Culkin?  It's something that every kid that grew up in the late 80s or early 90s asks.  Home Alone and Home Alone 2 are classic nostalgic movies, so it's natural to wonder where that supposedly up-and-coming star muddled off to.  What they aren't prepared for, however, is the answer.

Culkin did not age well.  Drug-addled and weird for the sake of being weird, he's pretty much what you expect a former child star to be.  He has an excuse; he's quirky.  To a fault, sure, but quirky.  Seth Green has no such excuse.  Why's he in this?  Why do they both give such horrendous performances?  Such questions perhaps aren't meant to be answered, but Seth, come on man, you were Oz!  You can do better.  Like in Without a Paddle!

But maybe I'm being unfair to the film.  I mean, the extravagant party sex club scene isn't mine.  Maybe I just don't get it, you say.  And you'd be right.  But no.  I take that back.  This movie is awful.  Simply from its amateurish direction, stilted acting, and sensory overload, it earns the hate I have for it.  It might be worth a watch to marvel at the bad performances, but honestly... probably not.  Oh Macaulay, why can't you be more like Rory or Kieran?