Thursday, July 12, 2012

The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) - Review

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not objective when it comes to movies, music, or basically anything that involves opinion. I'm just not a fan of giving a soulless evaluation after having taken myself out of the equation. Passion is the one thing that all art should strive for, and if you have to look at things from a passionless point of view, then you might be watching movies wrong. So right away, I'm going to lose a lot of credibility (what little there was) because I went into this movie expecting to not like it. I was prepared to begrudgingly say it was okay and be done with it. But believe me when I say from the bottom of my passion-filled heart when I say: this movie is awful. This movie is really awful. It's difficult to pinpoint why, but I promise you, this is only like 25% percent bias. It really is that bad.

The two biggest problems with the movie are huge factors: its enthusiasm and its execution. This movie has no heart, no soul, no reason to be. Sam Raimi's Spider-Man trilogy, as silly as they may be, had passion. Even the much maligned third installment was oozing with emotion. This simply isn't the case with The Amazing Spider-Man. It's completely by the numbers. Nothing is given an ounce of depth or weight; Uncle Ben's death scene, for instance, is almost entirely glossed over. There was no reason to reboot this, and there's really no reason that it should be an emotionally watered down version of the 2002 Spidey.

The other problem is execution. I'd be hard-pressed to name a movie with worse execution in recent years than this. Almost nothing in the entire movie works. The acting, for the most part, isn't bad, but it completely buckles beneath the weight of the shoddy script and the editing that was seemingly handled by a four year old. Scenes come and go, often without any meaning and never with any substance. The characters have little to no motivation and absolutely no arc; this is most noticeable in Curt Connors and Peter himself. Neither have anything good to do, the latter not even justified by the over-hyped Parker/Stacy romance.

If there is one redeeming quality in this trash heap, it's that it's a very entertaining movie. If you enjoy things ironically (much like a hipster might), then there's is a lot to love here. Hilariously bad dialogue, piss-poor editing, cringe-worthy cheesiness from a movie that doesn't know it's cheesy... it's all here. And it's glorious. Don't spend too much money on this movie, but... do see it. See it with a group of friends and make fun of it. That will surely make this Spider-Man experience amazing.

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